The Lists of Death
by the little french lady
Summary: When you think about it the x-men and brotherhood alike have so many ways to die that it's not even funny. That is exactly what makes it so hilarious.
1. Chapter 1

Kurt and Todd, in there never ending quest to annoy each other, were having an argument. But not their normally, or what qualifies as normal for mutants, type of argument.  
>No, they were arguing about which one of them had the more dangerous life.<p>

"X-men have way more ways to die then the Brotherhood!"

"And I say that the X-men wouldn't know something deadly if it bit them in the ass!"

That is, if you wanted to put it intelligently.  
>You may be asking, "How did this argument start?" or, "When exactly did it take this direction?", or maybe even,"Why would anyone with a sane mind argue about some thing like this?". The answers to these questions may never be known but one thing is certain, this is not going to end well.<p>

Now what exactly was said during this argument is not important. What is important is the challenged that was issued.

"Arguing is getting us you what, how about you and I make a list of all the ways we can die in our own home and compare them.  
>That way we can see who has a better chance of dying."Said Kurt with that face, you know the one, that face you make when get a great idea (or at least an idea that you think is great) when your arguing with someone, that triumphant but still a little stiff from residual anger look.<p>

"You're on" said Todd, with a smirk. Huh, that one was a lot shorter wasn't it.

And so it began, the thing that would make X-men and Brotherhood alike shiver with bad memories.

The Lists of Death.


	2. Chapter 2

**Alright it's time to get started, first up, the X-men. **

* * *

><p>Kurt, as soon as he got to the institute, teleported strait to his room. Ignore the fact that Scott had planed a training session today.<p>

_'Eh, whats one training session.'_

This, as it turns out is one of the reasons that the X-men, Scott and Jean especial, hated the lists and the day it was created. But well get to that later.

* * *

><p>Kurt was confident that he would win this competition for he already had ten ways that he could die in the institute in his head.<p>

1. Eating Kitty's muffings

2. Having one of Kitty's muffins tossed at you

3. Being within ten feet of the kitchen when Kitty's makeing muffins

4. Replace one through three with _**anything **_Kitty makes

5. Driving with Kitty

6. Being outside while Kitty is driving

7. Being on the first floor of a building while Kitty was driving

8. Going to a "Grab Bag Sale" with Kitty*

9. Going shopping with Kitty in general

10. Refusing to going shopping with Kitty

Kurt had to stop there because now he had to think about stuff to put on the list. He looked over what he had put down and realized that it was rather, well, anti-Kitty. But then, that wasn't to surprising. That day Kitty insisted on making breakfaster, driving them to school, and if that wasn't bad enough, she dragged him to go shopping with the girls.*  
>Kurt still wondered <em>why<em> they always took him. Kitty insisted that they needed a guys opinion on the things they were buying. Alright fair enough, but why always him! There are, like, twelve deferent guys they can take, but _nooo_, they had to take him!

So ya, Kurt was having a _bit_ of an anti-Kitty day.*

Getting back to the lists, Kurt had thought of some more stuff to put on it.

11. Stealing Logan's motercycle

12. Stealing Logan's beer

13. Stealing Logan's, well, anything

14. Touching Storm's plants

15. Getting in-between argument between Lance and Piotr

16. Or Sunspot and Beserker

17. Or Rogue and, anybody

18. And Boom-Boom

19. Amara too

20. Doing an experiment with Forge

21. Touching Forges' expiriments

22. Hanging out with Forge for a prolong period of time

23. _Anything_ that had to do with Forge for that matter

24. Cutting in line for anything at the insitute

25. Assuming that your sister is dressed when you teleport into her room

26. Assuming that the bathroom is empty

27. Upsetting Jammie before going into the Danger Room

28. Letting Scott convince you to do a level eleven Danger Room sesion

29. Having Logen at the controls of the Danger Room while your in it

30. Letting Bobby at the controls of any moveing vehicular

And that's all Kurt could think of, for now. He was shore he could think of more with time, and if anything he could ask around. But right now he had more important matters to attend to.

_'I wounder if there anymore sourcrout in the fridge. I could go for a snack.'_

* * *

><p><em><strong> day will haunt Kurt's nightmares for years to come<strong>_

**_2."The girls" being Kitty, Rogue, Jean, Tabitha, Amara, and occasional Wanda; though not _****_often_**

_**3. Can you honestly blame him?**_

**That's it for now but expect more. Up next is the Brotherhood. I would appreciate suggestions though for them, I can only think of fourteen for them. But if you have more for the X-men feel free to tell me. There's still the final presentation, and you'll just love the judge I chosen. If you can guess who it is you get a cookie. **

**Here's your hint, he's a human on a mutant teem run by the government but only in fan fiction.**


End file.
